I have had many close calls in my life. When I nearly backed off a railing-less cliff
outside of a roadside restaurant. The
time I fell asleep at the wheel. For
just a second. Having twigs and other
projections just miss gouging my eyes out.
Teetering at the top of a long flight of stairs. Sure, my life may flash
before my eyes, but it's more disturbing than that. Each time a close call whistles past my ear,
I see what would have happened in Technicolor.
It's winter and we are standing outside of the restaurant
saying goodbye to friends. I'm laughing,
bending over at the waist at a joke my father's told. My knees are weak from amusement and I stumble
a little, backing up too quickly for anyone to warn me. One more step and my
heel comes down on air. My head jerks up
and I see my father's face slide down out of my field of vision as I tumble
backwards. The only sound I hear is a
guttural, “Hunh!” when I hit the bottom.
My head dips over the steering wheel like a dashboard
bobble-head dog, getting lower and lower in its ellipses. My shoulders fall and
the three fingers that were lazily steering slip into my lap. My foot, still on the accelerator, presses
harder as I lean into sleep. The car gently
curves into the wrong lane of traffic.
The sportier cars and more agile drivers are able to dance around my
drifting vehicle. But there is a truck.
In my rush to get started on the weekend laundry, I load
myself too heavy. My arms are full of
damp towels and bed linens, piled up, obscuring my eyes. One tentative foot reaches out to find the
top step of the stairs. But I’m already
closer than I thought. The balls of my
feet rock against the top step. My toes
cramp, desperately gripping the worn carpet. I’m falling. The sound of the splintering banister drowns out
the sound of my breaking bones.
I'll spare you the eye-gouging scenario. Rest assured, it's just as dreadful.
The question is, do I want to disable the imagination that
fathoms all of these terribly possible, most certainly terrible scenarios?
Sigh.
I suppose not.
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| Reason I Didn't Write Yesterday: Wicked Witch |
